As I mentioned in my previous Insight, good listening skills are very important in the workplace. The bad news is, most people don’t have them. The good news is, good listening skills can be learned.
Learning Good Listening Skills
Here are three easy ways to learn good listening skills.
1. Find a role model. Do you know someone who’s a good listener? If you do, pay attention to what they do and how they interact with others while listening. Ask yourself:
- What are they doing that lets me know they are a good listener?
- What does it feel like when I’m being listened to?
- How can I utilize their skills?
2. Get into their “movie.” In her book, The Zen of Listening: Mindful Communication in the Age of Distraction, Rebecca Z. Shafir recommends a technique she calls, “getting into a person’s movie.” This is a really great individual learning activity.
When we go to the movies, there are lots of distractions—the popcorn stand with all the snacks, advertisements for other movies, people getting into their seats, etc. But then the lights go down, it gets dark, the movie comes on, and our attention is completely on the screen.
And what happens during the time while the movie is on is amazing. Often we get so engrossed in the movie and the characters that we forget everything else. We become one of the characters and really get into the action.
Then the movie is over, the lights come back on, and we start talking and interpreting what we just saw.
This same technique can apply to listening.
If you eliminate all distractions around you (“turning the lights down at the movies”), then you can listen and suspend your disbelief (“while the movie is playing”) and once the person is finished talking (“when the movie ends”), then you can start to analyze or clarify what they said and take action on it.
3. Become a “listening spy.” From your own observations, you can learn how to become a better listener. The next time you’re in a restaurant or coffee shop, watch what’s happening as other people have their conversations.
- Notice if they interrupt each other and how the other person reacts.
- What’s going on with those conversations that indicate to you that people are effective or ineffective listeners?
- Do the people listen well enough to understand what the message was and to carry on the conversation? Or did they completely miss the point and go off into left field?
Good listening skills are a necessity in the workplace (and in life in general). We can all improve our ability to listen to others. Try the techniques I’ve described and listen to what happens!
For Example
An Operations Director at an equipment installation company was on the road a lot driving between customer sites. While on the road he often received phone calls from customers asking technical questions that required his attention. He found he was having a hard time listening to and answering those customers’ concerns while, at the same time, paying attention to his driving.
After taking a class on listening skills, he determined that if he reduced or eliminated the distractions, he would be able to listen better and to respond more effectively when his customers called. Now, when he’s on the road or at a place where he can’t give the customer his undivided attention, he asks to give the customer a call back. Not only has he found that his listening skills have improved, but he’s also a safer driver!