Improve Your Manager-Employee Relations

Blame your employees? Look in the mirror instead.

Remember the Hershey’s television commercials for Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups?  Two people are walking toward each other, one eating peanut butter and the other eating chocolate. They collide. And then blame each other for the mess:

“You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!”

“No, you got your peanut butter in my chocolate!”

While the commercial ended happily, we know that both people contributed to the initial “mess.”  Managers frequently have collisions with their employees around performance, but instead of acknowledging their role in the problem, and then adjusting their approach, they instead blame the employee, as if the entire responsibility for the issue rests with the employee. Yet, it’s more complex than that—where does the responsibility lie for broken manager-employee relationships, and what can you do to resolve them successfully?

Less effective managers typically make the mistake of thinking about poor performance this way:

• Why did they do that?
• I can’t believe them!
• Why do I have to tell them?
• Shouldn’t they just know?
• Another mistake?  Fire them!

I was recently speaking with an owner of a small manufacturing company who shared her frustration with an employee who she believed continually didn’t follow procedures.  She wanted to let him go.  She expressed her aggravation by asking me, “Why can’t he just do what he needs to do?  Why do I have to tell him that?” After many minutes of listening to her whine about this employee, I decided to confront her head on.

ME: “So I understand your concerns about this employee, and it sounds like he bears some responsibility for where you’re at today.”

OWNER:  “He sure does.  I think I’m going to fire him.”

ME:  Well, tell me - what role have you played in the problems you’re describing?  How have you contributed to this situation?  And what would the employee tell me?”

OWNER:  (silence)

It’s rare that problems between managers and employees are caused by only one party.  Think about it: What’s the likelihood that the employee was responsible for 100 percent of the performance issue?  Almost always, the manager bears some responsibility.  It may not always be 50/50, but leaders need to hold up the mirror and see how they have contributed to the situation.  Before you place all the blame on the employee, consider the following:

• Have I provided both direction and support to this employee?
• Have I provided the tools and resources to allow this employee to be successful?
• Have I provided specific outcomes and results I’m looking for?
• Have I created an environment that promotes the behaviors I’m looking for?
• Have I tried positive consequences first, before negative or punitive actions?

Sure, sometimes the employee is off the mark and has contributed to the situation.  But I bet you have, too. Instead, find ways to set your employees up for performance success and you won’t need to clean up a sticky mess you may have helped create.

In my next Insight, I will share another real life example of how managers can successfully handle the delicate balancing act of developing employee-motivation techniques.

Where does the responsibility lie for broken manager-employee relationships? Sometimes managers have to acknowledge their role in the problem and make adjustments in their approaches.