Making it through losses with minimal scarring has a lot to do with how resilient we are. Psychologists have studied resiliency for some time and have identified it as the positive capacity of people to cope with stress and catastrophe. How well do we bounce back?
My experiences with successful executives and business owners tell me their views of the world have a tremendous amount to do with how they got to where they are. Most of the time, it is not because they have been lucky and fell into success. In fact, if anything, they have had at least as many setbacks as anybody else.
The differences are in the ways they have responded:
- The first thing I notice about these people is that they expect changes and unanticipated events. Being attached to one particular outcome is not a helpful place to be and they know it. There are an infinite number of possibilities out there. Some things will work out the way we expect and most will not.
- A second difference I notice is that they do not look at disappointment very long. They also don’t spend time concerned about what other people think or how their “failure” might be viewed. They look at the situation long enough to figure out what they can learn and immediately switch their attention to where they want to go. They see many more opportunities out there than disappointments.
- A third strong difference is that they feel they are the one in charge of their life. These people seem to live by the phrase “If it is to be, it is up to me.” Personal responsibility has been a hallmark of their lives. When something did not turn out the way they wanted, they immediately turned to—what could I have done differently? Sometimes there was something that fit in this category and sometimes there wasn’t. Another frequently asked question was: What did I do to create that?
- A fourth characteristic is that there is no place for blame in these people’s minds. Judgment does not have a place in the evaluation. Responsibility and accountability are always examined, but it is done with the understanding that most of the time people are doing the best job they know how, and if they knew a better way they would do it. Most genuinely sizeable mistakes in business are made by more than one person. When this is true, the question to ask is, “How did we go off track so we don’t do it again?”
- A fifth characteristic of highly successful business people is a constant awareness of the gratitude they feel for all they have. With them, life is not an endless race for more. That always leaves one with the feeling of lack, of never having enough, which is a continual state of failure. Being thankful and focusing on all you have will always attract more of what you want to you. Focusing on what you don’t have and feeling incomplete gives you a narrowed perspective that only allows you to see what you have known from past experience. Feeling successful and thankful opens a world of possibility thinking that is not possible otherwise.
- A sixth characteristic of truly successful people is a strong desire to do something for the good of others, as well as themselves. The focus is not just getting more. They genuinely want to see life improve for others, and they are willing to give of themselves to see it happen. There is an understanding that we truly are all in this thing together and making things better for one at the expense of another does not give the best outcome or happiness.
Ask yourself: How well do I bounce back? How well do my team members bounce back? How well have we positioned the team, in terms of operational values and what is rewarded, to bounce back? If the answer isn’t what you want to hear, re-evaluate. Which of the responses outlined in this Insight are worth a try?
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