By Jennifer Blanchard | HRTools.com Business Writer
Ah, the workplace. It’s a place where people build their careers. It’s a place where people learn and grow. And it’s a place where about 20 percent of married people met their spouses.
In fact, according to a 2009 Career Builder.com survey of more than 8,000 U.S. employees, 40 percent of respondents have dated a coworker.
These statistics don’t likely come as a shock to most employers. After all, employees spend 40-plus hours a week on the job. It’s a natural arena for relationships to develop.
But natural or not, it’s still the workplace, which means it needs to remain professional, comfortable and legally compliant.
That’s why it’s important for companies to have an interoffice dating policy in place.
Creating An Interoffice Dating Policy
Whether you agree with interoffice dating or think it should be forbidden, it’s a good idea to have a documented policy in place that you can refer back to when necessary.
Here are some steps you can take:
- Decide whether or not you allow interoffice dating—It’s a good idea to sit down and weigh both sides of the office relationships issue.
For example, allowing interoffice relationships could complicate things if two employees were to date and then break up. But if you forbid interoffice dating and then discover that two people in your office are in a relationship, you also need to think about the repercussions—are you really going to fire two good employees that you still need?
This is a decision that needs to be made by your company’s leadership team. Most companies allow office relationships, but with boundaries. Boundaries and rules must be written into the policy, as well.
- Document your decision—Before you go any further, be sure to document your policy on interoffice dating. The best place to do this is in your employee handbook.
You’ll want to create a policy that specifically details your company’s rules on employee relationships. Keep in mind, however, that having a policy won’t stop two interested people from dating if they want to.
- Communicate your decision—This is the most important step. Once you’ve made a decision and created a policy, you want to make sure that you’re communicating that policy to employees. Make them aware that it exists. Ask them to sign an acknowledgement form that says they have read and understand the policy. Put it in your employee handbook.
- Enforce your policy—No matter what your decision is (allow interoffice dating, not allow interoffice dating) you need to make sure you commit to your new policy and enforce it. That means you must follow it, use it as precedence for any future employee relationship issues and follow through with the consequences of breaking the policy.
For example, if you decide to allow co-worker relationships, but want to have a policy against employees and supervisors dating, and then you find out there’s an employee-supervisor relationship going on in your workplace, you need to take the proper actions in accordance with your new policy.
Remember, if you make a policy against it, that’s the policy. There should be no exceptions.
Tips
When it comes to interoffice relationships, there’s a lot to think about. Before you set your policy in stone, consider the following:
- The After-Effects—While many interoffice relationships work out, not all do. And this can cause some awkward office interactions for the two people involved, and depending on the severity of the breakup, also for the people who work around the two people involved.
The after-effects can especially cause a problem when the employees who have parted ways don’t remain professional about it at work. It’s also very likely that a broken heart is involved, which can make things even more complicated.
- Supervisor-Subordinate Relationships—These types of relationships can cause the most problems in a workplace, since one person is the employee and the other is in charge. If you’re going to ax any part of office relationships, this should be where you do it. Supervisor-subordinate relationships can complicate things for not just the two people involved, but for all the other employees. It could also cause a lot of problems if the supervisor and subordinate decide to end the relationship.
For example, if a supervisor-subordinate relationship is going on, the rest of the employees may feel that the supervisor is favoring the person just because they’re dating.
- PDA—PDA stands for Public Displays of Affection. And when it comes to romance at work, this is definitely something to think about. And it’s also something that should be written into your company policy.
For example, HRTools.com Insight contributor, Joe Dominguez, discussed office romances in a previous Insight and mentioned that he worked with a company once that was having an issue with office PDA. The two people felt, because they were on their lunch breaks, that it was OK for them to be holding hands and kissing in the break room. But this behavior was making their co-workers uncomfortable. So the company made sure to add to their interoffice relationship policy that PDAs in the office weren’t allowed.
- Be Prepared—This point was touched on above, but it’s important enough to repeat: Be prepared for any office relationships that go south. When two people break up, it’s rarely ever a mutual decision, which means someone’s heart is probably broken. This may also be true for the person’s ego. And this can cause issues in the workplace if the ex-couple starts making a scene or if co-workers start taking sides.
That’s why it’s important for you to have a clear idea of how to deal with this kind of situation. Knowing ahead of time keeps you proactive, instead of reactive.
- Sexual Harassment Prevention Training is a Must—Sexual harassment prevention training is a must for all workplaces, regardless of your policy on interoffice relationships. But it’s even more important for workplaces that allow office relationships.
For example, if a supervisor invites a subordinate to lunch, the supervisor may have a romantic interest, whereas the employee may think the invite is career-related.
To avoid problems, require all of your employees to attend sexual harassment prevention training.
- Consensual Relationship Agreements—Some companies require employees who are engaged in an office romance to sign a consensual relationship agreement that, according to Dominguez, states, “Each employee is consenting to the relationship and will take no adverse action on the employer if the relationship doesn’t work out.” This is a great option to go along with your policy.
No matter what decision you make regarding office romances (allowing them or not allowing them), it’s always a good idea to have a policy in your employee handbook that details your company’s position and rules.
Note: None of the above information should be construed as legal advice. Sexual harassment is a complicated legal issue and employers are encouraged to seek legal counsel when developing dating policies.
Legal Disclaimer
The information contained in this document is for general, informational purposes only and is not intended to be legal advice. This information is not a substitute for the guidance of a professional and should not be relied upon in reference to any specific situation without first seeking the advice of a qualified HR professional and/or legal counsel regarding applicable federal, state or local laws. HRTools, Insperity and their respective employees make no warranties, express or implied, and make no judgments regarding the accuracy of this content and/or its applicability to a specific situation. A reference or link to another website is not an endorsement of that site or service.